You have posted three hundred and eighty-four posts since I last checked in on you.  That’s appalling.

(Not that you have posted that many, but rather that I haven’t checked in on you in that long.)

Things are shifting here.  I have realised that wings aren’t the only thing I have to create. I need to get some dirty muddy roots going too, so my site will be undergoing a metamorphosis very soon.  Then, hopefully, my sassy sacred self will be where she belongs: deeply grounded and able to fly.

My gift to you is this picture of what our garden gate looks like this week.  Plum and cherry blossoms are filling the air with petal snow, and I am feeling deeply ready for spring.

I’ll be visiting you very soon ~ but I can’t help but wish we could meet for tea under my cherry blossoms instead.

You are loved.

P.S. Listen to this. (Thanks to Jen Gray)

- done with the instant poem button on Bentlily

Now I become myself.
It’s taken Time, many years and places;
I have been dissolved and shaken,
Worn other people’s faces…
Run madly, as if Time were there,
Now to stand still, to be here,
Feel my own weight and density!
All fuses now, falls into place
From wish to action, word to silence,
My work, my love, my time, my face
Gathered into one intense
Gesture of growing like a plant.
Grows in me to become the song,
Made so and rooted by love.
Now there is time and Time is young.
O, in this single hour I live
All of myself and do not move.

- May Sarton

I have inspiration fatigue.

When I open my inbox these days it gives me the same feeling that I get now when I pick up a fashion magazine – that insidious undercurrent of: there-is-something-about-me-that-needs-changing.

In Chanelling Grace, Caroline Myss talks about psychic free radicals. When I heard that I stopped still and felt an incredible sense of yes. I really believe that all of the noise and energy pollution and static filling the psychic airways is just as toxic as the garbage that some people eat.

I get that there is a consciousness shift going on and I get that that fear is just as heavy for a lot of people as the size of their thighs. But all of this consciousness raising noise has become bloody exhausting. I feel as toxic and bloated spiritually as I felt physically before I knew I was allergic to gluten.

Sadly there is no allergy test for the spirit.

But I know that I am suffering from inspiration fatigue. So what’s a girl to do?  Answer: A psychic detox is in order.

What I need is the psychic equivalent of a green smoothie.

Gone are the trans fats of mailing lists I signed up for just to get the free gift and never opened again.  Gone are the artifical sweeteners promising me money love or success, and gone are the emails from anyone who makes me feel less than in any way.

All that is allowed into this sensitive energy field are things that I know are nourishing to me:  good friends, muses, mentors, true teachers and the gentle whisperings of my own soul. Authenticity, integrity and delight are now the pre-requisites for access.

This sacred, tender soul deserves only the best, and it is my job to make sure that happens.

Yes.

I am not a weirdo.  Honestly, I can’t tell you what a relief that is.

When I started reading Martha Beck’s new book, I had no idea how powerfully it would affect me.  I usually begin a book, get to something hard or sticky and stop there. This time I knew that I had to finish, so I didn’t stop for anything; filling it with post-its and stars so that I could go back to the sticky bits and really work on them.

<<< drum roll please >>>

It was the book I have been searching for.

I had begun to think that it was normal to feel weird. I had begun to think that maybe I truly was never going to find the answers I was looking for.  Reading Martha’s book I kept thinking, “Yes!” Beyond that, however, I also knew deep in my heart that was she was saying was true for me.

And that, my friends, is a wonderful feeling.

I have so much more to say on this, but I will leave it there for now.  But trust me, if you ‘get’ the things I write about and if you are searching for the things I am searching for, I expect you will like this book.  Buy it. Read it. Then call or write to me, because we will have a lot to talk about.

“…playing to the point of enchantment is necessary medicine.” – Martha Beck

Be gentle with yourself, they have said.

Remember you are a fragile soul, I have read.

Even the kindest words can be poison.

Because I have only listened to those words when fear or grief has caused me pain.

And instead of making me healthier, they caused a kind of paralysis.

Because sometimes we need to be gentle with ourselves, and sometimes we need permission to play small.

But now that we are grown-up, most times we need know that we are strong and capable and that we have what it takes to take the next step.

Most times the best course of action is not to stay fragile.

Most times the best course of action is to put on our big girl pants or our invisible crown and prove to ourselves that we have got this.

It’s our internal Supernanny that we need, not our fairy godmother.

Take the chance. Make the leap. Sit on the naughty step. Get off your ass. Clean your house. Eat your greens. Play bigger. Get dressed. Make the call. Move your body. Do the math. Book the ticket. Take responsibility.

You’ve got this.

xo

Retreat happened this weekend; re-entry is happening now.  What can you say after spending three days with a group of irreverent, sacred, sassy, gentle, fierce, wise, silly, gorgeous, talented, creative, sensitive, remarkable women?

Sas, Penny, Susannah, Lisa, Emma, Leonie, Jo (and the Fox):

Thank you -

For being you.

For seeing me.

For nourishment.

For laughter.

For everything.

RrrOoooooAAaaaaRRrrrrrr.

xo

Photos by Penny McKinley-Rodgers

Dear Ms. Graham,

Quickening is bloody uncomfortable.  My body is full of equal parts excitement, terror and motion sickness.  My tried-and-true neural pathways are disagreeing with you and reading this feeling as fear rather than vitality.

“Eat!”  My ego is screaming.

“Self Medicate!”

“You can’t handle this. It is too big. Food will numb you. Grab a spoon and eat Nutella straight out of the jar. Don’t even move away from the open cupboard door. The faster you can get it in the sooner this feeling of terror/ possibility will pass.”

“Who are you to think about getting bigger?”

“Who are you to think about being capable of more?”

“The way things are is easier.”

“Why does it matter anyway? You aren’t special. What you have to say doesn’t matter.”

“Tomorrow is soon enough. There is plenty of time to do it then.”

“Go ahead, watch that re-run. You’re tired. You’ve earned a rest.”

But there is another tiny voice there that has been getting stronger and stronger. It wants me to listen to the quickening. It wants me to ride the feeling through to the end. It is telling me that I can handle it.  In fact, it thinks I have the potential to Rock It.

“There is a vitality, a life-force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep open and aware directly to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open.” - Martha Graham

Dear Ms. Graham,

I hear you, and I will.

love megg.

ox

I need to warn you that this post is going to be more traditionally spiritual than normal.  Although I have been working with the sacred for years now, I have kept away from talking about religion and God partly because some of the blogs that I have read that discuss their views on religion have put me way off reading them again, partly because it was really UNcool to talk about God when I was younger and that is a hard habit to break, and partly because I am still working on what I believe.

But paying attention has its benefits and lately the whispers to my soul have been focusing on prayer.  I, of course, have been largely ignoring them, but while poking through Google Reader today, I read Danielle’s latest post and her words felt like they had disco glitter on top and a hallelujah chorus behind them:

“I feel like I am in a constant state of prayer.”

Now that makes sense to me. That feels holy and real and right and just a little dangerous. That is a practice I can get behind. Prayer as a conversation; as constant as breathing and as close as gratitude.  Sacred as everyday.  By holding space for prayer, we take space away from fear.

And who wants to sit beside fear?

In Your Sacred Self Wayne Dyer writes: “Keep uppermost in your mind that there is a place within you where there is perfect peace and where nothing is impossible. If you give yourself the right to pray regularly, you will get to that place. Peace is yours for the asking.”

Beginning now -

deep breath.

gratitude.

yes.

xo

PHOTO CREDIT: Speaking of gratitude, this photo was taken by my Dad. He blogs too!

]]> http://creatingwings.com/2012/01/03/an-invitation-to-a-conversation/feed/ 3 http://creatingwings.com/2012/01/02/inside-all-of-us-is-a-wild-thing/ http://creatingwings.com/2012/01/02/inside-all-of-us-is-a-wild-thing/#comments Mon, 02 Jan 2012 20:26:08 +0000 megg http://creatingwings.com/?p=1319 “These places of possibility within ourselves are dark because they are ancient and hidden; they have survived and grown strong through darkness. Within these deep places, each one of us holds an incredible reserve of creativity and power, of unexamined and unrecorded emotion and feeling. The woman’s place of power within each of us is neither white nor surface; it is dark, it is ancient, and it is deep.” – Audre Lorde

Have you met yours yet?

xo

(P.S. Once again, I don’t know who did this – if you know who I can credit, please let me know!)