“Fear grows in darkness; if you think there’s a bogeyman around, turn on the light.” – Dorothy Thompson

I have decided to pretend that my fear looks like David Bowie in feathers and a padded codpiece: ridiculous and outdated.

I have decided that whenever he rears his ridiculous head I am going to stand and look at him with big wide eyes like Jennifer Connelly and say, “You have no power over me.” And then I am going to hear the magic music in my head that shows he has been defeated.

I have decided that although this sounds like a completely ridiculous thing for a 35- year-old to do, it is no more ridiculous than some of the fears that I have allowed to run my life and it might just make them go away.

You hear that Bowie? You have no power over me.

Cue music.

xo

1. Lisa’s good cause

2. Leonie’s new book.

3. Marianne’s 30 days of Yoga.

4. Jamie’s Soul Reflections.

5. Susannah’s Unravelling (I’ve finally taken the plunge!)

6. This book has been cracking me open in so many ways. It’s incredible.

7. My new favorite designer Sibella Court. See her interview at Design Files by clicking on the picture.

8. Two weeks of enforced home-time.  A new doctor finally told me to get off and stay off of my foot for two weeks whether it is broken or not (I fell down the stairs in January and it’s still not better.) So as I write this I am surrounded by a mountain of things that I have been wanting to play with for ages.

9. YOU.  Thank you for being here!  xo

“There is a lot to be said for pinning things to the earth so they don’t follow us around.  There is a lot to be said for laying them to rest.” – Clarissa Pinkola Estes

You are grounded.

Do you hear me?

All of you.

All of the books that are whispering to me that they have the answer to all of my problems, but make me feel like a failure for not reading/ finishing/ doing them: you are grounded.

All of the clothes in my drawers that are sighing about the day that I will fit into them again, making me feel like a failure for not being thin: you are grounded.

All of the food that I am ’supposed’ to eat because it’ll make me healthy and all of the eating plans I have made and failed at following, all of the diets I have tried and also failed at that made me feel like a pathetic fatty: you are grounded.

All of the emails I have not written back to, all of the phone calls I have forgotten to make/ not felt up to making that have made me feel like a bad friend: you are grounded.

All of the projects I have thought about starting that I haven’t grabbed with both hands, all of the guilt I have from when I have watched Lost instead of grabbing my creative dreams, and all of the feelings of inadequacy I carry from comparing myself to other people/ bloggers/ writers: you are grounded.

All of the crap in my head about not being a good enough wife because I am not currently a sex/ domestic/ intellectual goddess: you are grounded.

We’re done.  Do you hear me? I refuse to play with you anymore.  You are too heavy to carry and frankly, I am bored of you.  In fact, I think that the weight I try so hard to shed might be made up of you.  So you are grounded for the forseeable future.  You are not welcome anymore. I am locking you in the spare room and leaving you there until I decide what to do with you.

I am not sorry.

megg