“That evening, as I took some time to relax and contemplate, I had an almost mystical experience. Gazing out at the expanse of water and the forested hills, a sense of destiny seemed to envelop me. This was where I belonged.” – Esther S. Keyser (Algonquin Park’s first female guide)
When I was at the British Museum in London a few months ago I took this picture because I knew what the totem pole must feel like: very far away from Canada. Most of the time I am completely comfortable here, in love with England’s people and history, and able to get by without too much fuss. Other times I feel desperate for home.
A friend of mine came over for lunch today. She is moving back to her home country after several years here. When I asked her a little while ago why she wanted to go home now she simply shrugged her shoulders and said, “It’s time.” It made me nervous because I knew what she meant. At some point your roots want to recognize the soil again.
Money and jobs and life keep us here for now. It was easier to move when all I needed was a bag and a visa. Husbands and careers take up a lot more room in the suitcase. Most of the time I am happy with the life we have created here, but sometimes I wish I had a crystal ball that could tell me when and if I will ever call North America home again. I know it is where I belong.
When She Opened Her Arms To Love
So Much Abundant Love Poured In
That She Could Not Hold It All
So She Had To Give A Lot Of It Away
It wasn’t something she could store
for later use or in case she ran out
It was like fresh mango
That had to be eaten now and shared
because it was too good to eat alone
No One Could Explain The Magic They Felt
When they were in her presence
But somehow, they felt more beautiful
more interesting, and actually
more interested in everything around them
They Had To Open Their Hearts To Let It In
and when they did
they too had to share it.
This is how the love multiplies.
- Shiloh Sophia McCloud
“Nothing and everything cannot coexist. To believe in one is to deny the other. Fear is really nothing and love is everything. Whenever light enters darkness, the darkness is abolished.” – Dr. Helen Schucman
The strangest thing happened to me yesterday. I have tried to write about it a couple of times, but I can’t explain it without it sounding weird. I was walking through the city and had an overwhelming sensation of greyness. It was like a curtain was pulled back and for a few minutes I could feel what everyone around me was feeling. A woman walked by me biting her lip, and I felt such sadness coming out of her, I almost cried. I’ve had sensations of knowing what other people were feeling before, but never a whole city at a time! I was shaking with sorrow by the time I got to my doctor’s appointment.
Then, in the waiting room I saw Patricia. She walked in like a beam of light. With long blonde and white hair, a cream-coloured cape slung over both shoulders, and the most peaceful face I had ever seen, I couldn’t stop looking at her. She sat down and pulled out a Harry Potter book, smiling to herself as she read. Her energy soothed me from across the room. It was mesmerizing. I was going to be brave and get up to meet her, but before I could get up the courage, the nurse poked her head out of the door and called her name. Patricia. She smiled widely at the nurse, said a hearty hello, and was gone.
I feel like a bit of a stalker writing these words, but the effect that this woman’s energy had on me was startling. I had felt such deep sorrow in the minutes before seeing her, the effect of such positive energy was like a jolt of caffeine to the system. She felt powerful and angelic to me, and I wanted more – not more of her, I’m not that much of a stalker – but more of it for myself. I wanted to know whatever she knew that caused her to fill the room with light. And I want to remember so that I can always find my way when things get grey.
Thank you Patricia, wherever you are. Thank you for showing me the way through.