I need to be honest with you:
I am scared of you.
When I had the idea for this website, I knew that an important part of it was me making my wings. I knew that I wanted to really look at my rules and then create something that showed whether or not I was accepting them.
It sounded simple at the time.
What I didn’t realize is that one of the first things I would need to do is confront my artistic insecurities. I’ve been ready to make another feather for weeks now, but I am scared of my art not being good. I am not an artist. I can embrace creative, but artist is not a label I have ever dreamed of giving myself.
The trouble is that while I have been hiding my fears from you, my posts have shriveled up. Avoiding the problem has made me and my writing feel tight and dry. I realized today that by allowing myself to be ruled by just one fear, my whole life gets smaller. And smaller is NOT what we are looking for! I guess “I am not an artist” needs to be on my list of rules to change.
It’s going to be a more interesting journey that I thought.