I need to be honest with you:

I’m scared.

I am scared of you.

When I had the idea for this website, I knew that an important part of it was me making my wings. I knew that I wanted to really look at my rules and then create something that showed whether or not I was accepting them.

It sounded simple at the time.

What I didn’t realize is that one of the first things I would need to do is confront my artistic insecurities. I’ve been ready to make another feather for weeks now, but I am scared of my art not being good. I am not an artist. I can embrace creative, but artist is not a label I have ever dreamed of giving myself.

The trouble is that while I have been hiding my fears from you, my posts have shriveled up. Avoiding the problem has made me and my writing feel tight and dry. I realized today that by allowing myself to be ruled by just one fear, my whole life gets smaller. And smaller is NOT what we are looking for! I guess “I am not an artist” needs to be on my list of rules to change.

It’s going to be a more interesting journey that I thought.

“To flourish is to bloom, to grow, to do the opposite of languish.” – Noelle Oxenhandler

This week a friend told me that she had found her perfect job. Having had a ridiculous week at work, the idea of a perfect job intrigued me. What exactly would be the perfect job for me? When I typed “perfect job” into a Google search, I got 98,800,000 hits. It seems that there are a lot of people out there looking for the same thing. So if so many people are searching, is there really any such thing as the perfect job?

Every personality test I have ever taken has given me the same results. I would make a good teacher or writer or minister or counselor or consultant. They also say I am happiest working with people, and would do best in a leadership role. Now, I have been working for the last few years hoping that I could leave it all behind and write books for a living. But if I am happiest working with people, and need to lead, what if I got my wish and ended up solitary and miserable? What if I can’t hack it as a writer simply because I lack the personality for it?

So what, then, would be my perfect job? What would I be happiest doing?

My perfect job:

1. Working for myself or within a partnership with someone else who I love and respect.
2. Writing books.
3. Running inspiring workshops with small groups of women/ girls.
4. Meeting and working with inspiring people on a regular basis, from all over the world.
5. Making at least £45,000 a year (after tax – ha!)
6. Having flexible hours and locations so that I could visit family and friends whenever I want.
7. Having a personal assistant who I trust.
8. Having a art/ writing materials budget.
9. Every day to include creativity, inspiration and beauty.

I almost wrote that it sounded impossible, but I stopped myself. It’s my perfect job and I will not settle for anything less – giggle.

What is your perfect job?

“Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.” – Calvin & Hobbes

Okay, dear readers, I have a question for you.  This has been taken directly from an email I sent to some dear friends, but I think I need to spread my net a little wider.

The Universe has been giving us LEAKS like crazy. Our tub lost its overflow pipe and we had a leak, our sink has had two different leaks, our tap won’t turn off, our fridge freezer is leaking (dripping), our new heat system had a leak that came through the kitchen ceiling, the fireplace in our bedroom is leaking, our front window is currently leaking – through the paint and the frame NOT the window, and I just spent an hour in the museum dealing with… you guessed it – LEAKS. WTF? It COULD also be giving us drips rather than leaks, but either one is clearly coming into our life in an excessive amount.

Come on everyone – what does it mean?