Is a Change as Good as a Rest?
“Change: To become different or undergo alteration”
To coin an English phrase, I went on a ‘jolly’ today. I was sent by work to a meeting that took place somewhere else. Waiting for the train, I felt like a child released from school for a school trip. I very nearly wriggled in my seat with excitement.
As I sat on the train, I started thinking about change. Starting this new site has already made me look at the world in a different way. Thinking a lot about the implications of questioning what we believe to be true, I have begun to question everything and it has been a little bit frightening. Today in the train for the first time I wondered why. Why is it so exciting to go on holiday or have a day away from normal, and so scary to change small things like what we are willing to eat, or how we are going to behave? Why was it exciting for me to go to a strange city and spend the day with a bunch of strangers, but scary for me to tell you what I am thinking or to question my fear of the dark? On paper, those things are so small, how have I made them into such mountains?
When do we choose what we are afraid of? And is it possible to choose when we are not going to be afraid anymore?
(Photograph found on wikivisual.com. I tried to take my own, but the train was moving too fast and all I got were green blurs. I decided to stop trying to take pictures and start admiring the view!)
Designed by Random
Strangers aren’t scary. It’s the people we care about who scare us – and that sounds just so wrong, but don’tcha think? I worry that the people I care about will think I’m silly or naive or ridiculous & I oh-so-badly don’t want that – I want them to always love me.
And really, they always do, even if they DO think I’m being silly.
I have been The Scared Girl all my life – a couple of years I chose to change that, and it is hard work, and I am still scared, but baby steps, you know.
I’m glad to’ve found this blog – I can’t wait to watch it bloom!
I am less cared of what I don’t know and more scared of what I do know. Does that make sense? So I guess I have chosen to be scared of certain things or certain experiences, or even certain people, because something scary (for me) has happened around any or all of them. The unknown always feels fresh and full of beautiful possibilities. Love your new blog Megg!
Hi Megg!
( O…and we did get caught by ma and dad and got into biiiiG trouble:))
I’ve also been afraid of the dark for most of my life…tho it’s an unfounded fear.
I remember playing so many games as a child in the dark. We played spotlight and would sneak out the window at midnight on the school holidays to have some hot chocolate in a thermos with some kids in our neighbourhood. Such a thrill…you know, growing up with enid blytons books, we were always hoping to find a fairy or a mystery
We had so much fun playing dare,double dare or torture and dare each other to run around the house at night.
As I grew older, I watched more tv and murder mysteries and news events and learned more about the dangers of going out alone etc…and I think that all helped me become afraid of the dark. Nothing ever bad happened to me, but with my vivid imagination, it might!
So, because I love the moon and the nights are when I tend to ‘create’ … I’ve made myself go outside, into our backyard of an evening with my torch and just enjoy the noises and the possums and the stars and moon etc…I’ve worked hard to not be afraid of the dark. Rationally, it’s not the dark, but the things in the dark that are scary.
When we’ve had blackouts, I have found that I need to stay still and shut my eyes, until I get over that rush of fear…then move towards where the candles etc are kept. Being in that kind of dark is actually more scary than being outside in the dark.
Many moons ago, I offered to massage my neighbour and she offered me a counselling session in return. I said to her that I didn’t need any counselling and not to worry about it, but she insisted…and it turned out to be one of the most amazing experiences of my life… I did need it
But, one thing that I learned was that if you can either put yourself into that situation in real life or in your mind, and stand and experience all the sensations that go with it … you will eventually realise that the fear subsides. Or…that when nothing bad is going to happen, you at least begin to relax. Mind you, I’m not talking about those who have been through terrible crimes and have every reason to feel a real fear.
So… if we are scared of something and there is no ‘rational’ reason to be scared of it, than maybe it’s a subconsciously learned thing. Not that that makes it easier to undo … but maybe, just maybe we can choose to be afraid or not!
WHEN YOU FEEL, YOU HEAL.
Oops… this is a wee bit long … sorry
xxx